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Episode 120: Break the Rules If There is a Compelling Reason To Do So | Jay Blasi

*Jay Blasi was on the Robert Trent Jones II, RTJII design team at Chambers Bay Golf Course.

During this episode, Jay Blasi shares his experience working on the design team at Chambers Bay Golf Course, the home of the 2015 U.S. Open.  One piece of advice Jay shares about golf course design is to break the rules if there is a compelling reason to do so.

Jay Blasi Break the Rules

Jay Blasi

Jay Blasi spent his initial years at RTJ II assisting the design team on dozens of projects around the world. His first opportunity to serve as one of the lead architects on a project team came at Chambers Bay, a true links layout on the shores of Puget Sound, in University Place, Washington. Blasi fell in love with the property on his first site visit, and spent the majority of his time on the project from 2004 to 2007.

Jay Blasi on Chamber's Bay Break the Rules

Chamber’s Bay

Following its debut in June of 2007, Chambers Bay was named by GOLF Magazine, Golfweek, Travel + Leisure Golf, and Golf Inc. as the number one golf course to open that year. In February of 2008, the USGA awarded Chambers Bay the 2010 U.S. Amateur Championship and the 2015 U.S Open Championship, making it the first course built since the 1960s to receive the latter honor. The announcement also made the RTJ II team the only living architects to have designed a U.S. Open course.

Jay says he deals with others in a variety of different ways, he draws plans, communicates and works with others on developing a game plan to create a golf course.

Success Quotes:

  • “The number 1 rule is break the rules if there’s a compelling reason.”
  • “As golf architects we’re artists tasked to create this landscape painting.”
  • “Two people can look at the same thing and see something different.”
  • “Know your audience.”
  • “If the golfer uses every club in their bag, that’s a success.”
  • “Ask the golfer to think, rather than just execute.”
Jay Blasi Break the Rules

Jay Blasi

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Episode 91: Unplug to Overcome Technology Obsession | Travis Cody, Author of Cure Overwhelm Now

Travis Cody Author of Overwhelm Cure - Overcome Technology ObsessionTravis Cody is the author of the book Cure Overwhelm Now where he talks about his experience with technology obsession and removing himself from all technological devices for 30 days. He talks about all the different ways that we are being overwhelmed. These technological devices are taking up and absorbing too much of our energy, time, and they are causing us a lot of stress.

Travis Cody’s greatest joy in life is showing stressed out, overwhelmed people how to find the time to actually live their lives and pursue their dreams. He is the creator of The Overwhelm Cure. After surviving his 30 Day experiment without modern technological devices, he now shows others how to live a life they love.

Zeb’s Take – Overcome Technology Obsession

I had a great time talking to Travis today. Travis is very excitable. I really liked all the stuff he was saying and how he was able to break his technology obsession and take himself away from all those technological devices for 30 days. I know there’s no way currently that I could make that happen although it does sound pretty appealing. To be able to break away, especially in this fast paced world that we live in. When I’m doing internet marketing, I’m managing it for a variety of different businesses so I’m always posting and responding to Facebook posts and Twitter posts. I have to be pretty active and present there, it does become very overwhelming. I can definitely see the value in wanting to break away from that for a while.

Travis brought up the point that we need to set time aside to unplug from our mobile devices and just take a step away. Do things we would normally do without being attached to our smart phones. He brought up the point that, talking with teenagers, if you take away a phone or other device from a teenage they go berserk because nowadays people are just attached to these devices. When I was younger, I’m 33 years old now, you didn’t have a cell phone, you didn’t have this technology that you carried around with you. Now it is completely different.

I think that technology is going to be more and more incorporated in our lives. I think technology is great. I’m a big advocate of technology, especially in cases where we are using it in social interactions and creating new connections. Technology obsession, dependency is one thing and using it to have an impact, make a Cure Overwhelm Now Book by Travis Codydifference is another. I think sometimes people fall into the dependency state of having these mobile devices and not so much using them to impact the world to make the world a better place. As a society we need to realize our technology obsession, come together and educate others on the difference between using these devices in an appropriate way and in an inappropriate way. I’m just as guilty of this as much as anyone else. If you go out to a restaurant you see half the people there on their mobile phone not talking with other people, not engaging with their surroundings. That’s one of the downsides of this technology and it’s something we need to be conscious of.

It is also important to step away because it does help clear your mind. When you have all these things bombarding you: messages, beeping, phone calls, and all that stuff, it is important to step away. De-stress, clear your mind so that when you do go back to work you are more focused, more determined and you will have a larger chance at success, a larger chance to do something worthwhile.

It was a blast talking with Travis today.

For our listeners, we are creating a Facebook Course. We are going to walk people through Facebook, beginning to end, how I do it for businesses. If you are interested in finding out more about this course contact me, since you are a listener I want to do something special for you, so send me an email and let me know you are interested and I put together a deal for you. Zeb@WelbornMedia.com

Find out more about Travis cody and his book Cure Overwhelm Now

Visit CureOverwhelmNow.com and find his book at bookstores.

QuotesTechnology Obsession

  • “If there is ever something where you are engaged in it and you just sort of lose all sense of time and things are just going, that’s the flow. When something happens to interrupt that, […] you lose that flow state and getting back to that point is really difficult.”
  • “80% of your stress is completely fictional. You are not as stressed out as you think you are.”
  • “Most people could get rid of most of their stress if they would just learn how to manage their technology, particularly their cell phones, Facebook, and email.”
  • “People have this really weird belief that they have to answer the email. That they have to, they can’t ignore the email, even if it’s just for a couple hours.”
  • “I don’t know when it happened, but in the last 4 or 5 years there’s been this strange shift where the idea of having boundaries has completely evaporated.”
  • “People really kind of feel like, if I text you, you owe me a response immediately. In some weird way it’s like, this ownership– I’m owning your time right now. Same with email: if you don’t email me back within an hour that means you hate me. It’s ridiculous, but that is what I am finding with a lot of people.”
  • “There is so much power and potential to [technology], but we just don’t know what to do with it. We are completely wasting it. In some ways we are just collision coursing our own lives through the amount of wasted time we are having.”
  • “Live life on your own terms instead of being run from pillar to post by everyone else.”
  • “We need a bit of creativity in order to fix the problems we’re creating for ourselves and, at the same time, we are creating a generation of people that don’t know how to even daydream. It has scary implications for the future.”

More from the Interview

After college Travis Cody moved to LA and did some work in the film industry. Worked at Universal Studios before doing development work and writing for producer Jonathan Crane. He did that for about 10 years. Then his first book came out and he had a little success there. That’s when he branched out and started doing independent production and writing on his own. He has a couple best-selling books and is currently working on a documentary.

The first book was Celebrity Rules(!), it was a humor book making fun of celebrity culture.

Cure Overwhelm Now, the jump from Celebrity Rules to Cure Overwhelm Now… how do you make that…

The idea for Cure Overwhelm Now came from an experiment he did on himself. When he was still working with Jonathan Crane he was maxed out capacity wise. It didn’t matter how much time he put in in the office or at home, in fact, it seemed like the harder he worked the further behind he got. He was at a seminar, the speaker started talking about this concept of pattern interrupt. Which is when you are in one of those moments, the flow state. If there is ever something where you are engaged in it and you just sort of lose all sense of time and things are just going, that’s the flow. When something happens to interrupt that, you lose that flow state and getting back to that point is really difficult.

That whole concept of the interruption causing him to be less productive. He started to monitor himself. He started to make a mark every time he reached for his cell phone. After a couple hours he was surprised with how many marks he made. What he realized was that it wasn’t that he was stressed and didn’t have enough time, it was that he was allowing these cool gadgets take over. He turned off the ringer on his phone and his productivity went way up.

Then he thought, “what if I just turn everything off.”

At that time he had a project fall through and was going to have some downtime for about 5 weeks. He decided to do it. He turned off his cell phone, computer, internet, TV, radio and Xbox. He wanted to find out if someone could function in today’s society, especially in a place like Los Angeles, with nothing other that a landline.

It ended up being a hugely transformative month for him. He did a lot of research on technology obsession and addiction and about the neuroscience of what our interaction with Google and our cell phone is doing physically in the way that we process our information. Six months later he ran into a publisher who had heard about the experience and offered Travis a book deal. That’s how the book came about.

The book is a day-by-day diary so you can see what is going through his head in the moment. Then there is the looking back on it with what he knows now and how does that reflect on the experience he had. Then there is a lot of research in there to validate the points that he’s making.

“80% of your stress is completely fictional. You are not as stressed out as you think you are.”
Most people could get rid of most of their stress if they would just learn how to manage their technology, particularly their cell phones, Facebook, and email.

“People have this really weird belief that they have to answer the email. That they have to, they can’t ignore the email, even if it’s just for a couple hours. That idea is so foreign to them. Same with text messaging.”

“There’s been this sort of weird unwritten rule that if I don’t respond to a text message immediately then it means something.”

“I don’t know when it happened, but in the last 4 or 5 years there’s been this strange shift where the idea of having boundaries has completely evaporated.”

He shares, going back to my Celebrity Rules book, there’s this weird thing about if you are a celebrity we feel like we own you. Now with cell phones people really kind of feel like, if I text you, you owe me a response immediately. In some weird way it’s like, this ownership– I’m owning your time right now. Same with email: if you don’t email me back within an hour that means you hate me. It’s ridiculous, but that is what I am finding with a lot of people.

When I unplugged everything the most difficult thing to get out of was having the cell phone. The first few days of getting in my car and driving around I felt so awkward and weird because I just didn’t have a phone on me.

One of the experiences Travis remembers is dinner with his friends. They would get together every Monday. Their first dinner after Travis cut off his technology his friends said they noticed that his energy had changed, they said that he was just so zenned out. It shocked Travis, it had only been three days, the only thing he changed was taking away the technology and everyone noticed a difference in him.

He says, I saw more of the city of Los Angeles in 30 days than I had in the entire 15 years I’ve lived here. I ended up being more social. I actually made more new friends in 30 days than I had the previous 4 years.

“The amount of time that I had was astounding to me.”

He bumped into a neighbor, found out they were an opera singer, got invited to a performance. He met a few of her friends and expanded his social circle with 6 new people.

He stumbled upon a Japanese garden and found a crazy weird motorcycle event going on people were doing tricks in the parking lot.

He says, the first day he plugged back in was miserable. He checked his email, his shoulders hurt, he had a headache, he was really grouchy and impatient, he forgot to eat. He realized that the majority of his emails were completely pointless. “Within a week I was right back to where I was before.”

After some time he came up with a system in his own personal life so that it wasn’t completely overwhelming. That’s what led to the principles in his book.

“There is so much power and potential to [technology], but we just don’t know what to do with it. We are completely wasting it. In some ways we are just collision coursing our own lives through the amount of wasted time we are having.”

logoTo overcome technology obsession:

Don’t sleep with your cell phone next to your bed. Leave it in another room or across the room. Don’t check your email/facebook/texts first thing in the morning. Travis encourages you not to check your phone or email until you get to the office if you can. Or wait two hours after you wake up. Set up a specific time to check email one or two hours a day. Those two things will minimize the amount of stress you are feeling in life. You will be more productive, you will have more free time.

“Live life on your own terms instead of being run from pillar to post by everyone else.”

The first thing someone with a technology obsession should do is move your phone across the room when you are asleep. Then progress from there to where you are not checking anything the first few hours of the day and the last hour before you go to bed.

One of the more advanced techniques that Travis sometimes recommends is a Technology fast. Where you choose, even if it’s just for a few hours, to turn everything completely off.

“There is something to be said for allowing your brain time to process the events of the week.”

When he asked a professor what the biggest difference in his students was over the last 15 years the professor said that his students didn’t know how to daydream. The are constantly distracted by technology. To solve problems you need to show some creativity and we are creating a generation of people who don’t know how to daydream. He says, it has scary implications for the future.

For me success is having a life where I am able to do the things that I love and enjoy to do when I want to do them without the pressures of worrying about where is the money coming from or is there someone I have to answer to.

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To The Listeners of The Defining Success Podcast

listenThank you for listening to the Defining Success Podcast. Today I want to interview you! That’s right you, the listener of the Defining Success Podcast.

This week on The Defining Success Podcast Facebook page I’m going to ask all of you, the listeners, questions that I often ask guests on the show. Take advantage of it this week! It would mean a lot to me. I think it would mean a lot to others, you’d be helping people and exposing them to your thoughts on success, passion, commitment and taking action.

Go to our Facebook page and join in!

More from this Episode of the Defining Success Podcast

When I started this podcast over a year ago I had no idea what to expect. I just sort of jumped right in. One of the questions I wanted to ask people was to define success; ask what does success mean. The very first person I interviewed, although it’s not the first episode (I think it’s episode 7), was Vic Braden. I actually didn’t even know I was going to be doing a podcast. I interviewed him. I recorded it with my cell phone, so if you’ve heard that episode of the Defining Success Podcast it’s pretty poor sound quality. I wasn’t trying to be conversational at all. I was planning on writing it up for a blog, but he told some pretty remarkable stories.

He led an amazing life. He was a tennis coach, world-famous. One of the first people to travel to China after China opened their doors to the western world. He says, ping pong led the way to China and then it was Vic Braden. I wanted to see what he defined as success. Someone that I found to be so successful, you know, what did he think success was. That is why I started the Defining Success Podcast. That is why I ask the last question and always make it the same. Define Success, what is success for you?

Now that I’ve been able to interview so many different people. I feel so blessed and grateful for the fact that, through this process, I’ve been able to meet so many amazing people that I would have never encountered otherwise. I also wanted to make sure it was valuable for the people out there listening. People like you!

Defining Success Podcast with Zeb Welborn

In today’s episode I really want to address you and address what it is you would like to get out of the Defining Success Podcast. I think success is defined by people. People that make decisions and take action. I really want to highlight those people, and I want to highlight people in completely different fields. That was the original intention. I could get people that have careers, jobs that they love. Like my dad, he was a journalist for the Orange County Register (He recently retired.) He absolutely loved what he did as a reporter and going to work everyday. He loved talking to people. He just found the career that he loved and knew that he was meant to be in. He did an excellent job as a reporter. I admire him greatly for that.

Then there are other people that I’ve met. Business owners that are going out there and making their own business happen. They’re doing some really amazing remarkable things. By showing business owners, people in careers that they love, by showing this wide array of people– I think there is something there that everyone can latch on to. Each of these individual stories could probably connect with someone out there listening and maybe influence them in a way that is promoting them, making them feel better about themselves, that is making them want to take action on the things being said in these interviews.

When I first started listening to podcasts it kind of felt like my head was exploding… I just had all these different ideas running through my head. I was getting so excited and amped up about the possibilities. From that point, taking action to do things was so much easier. Just because I was so excited about these new ideas and opportunities that I could experiment with and that I could try.

The people that I’m interviewing, I’m trying to bring them in. So they can share their wisdom on things that get them excited and pumped up because that is something that would connect with any one listening to this podcast. Trying to find those tidbits, those little nuggets of information, that make your head explode with all these different ideas. I want to make sure that we’re achieving the mission and the purpose of this podcast.

If you are listening to this podcast today, I want you to pretend that I’m interviewing you. I want you to reach out to me on our Facebook page. The Defining Success Podcast on Facebook. If you’ve been listening regularly, you know that I try to keep the interview light-hearted with a conversational tone. I ask questions in each episode of The Defining Success Podcast. Often the questions are fairly similar, and there are recurring questions that come up in many interviews.

I’d like to give each of you an opportunity to define your success. This week I’m going to post questions that I would normally ask guest on the show, but this time I’m going to be asking you. I’d like for you to go to our Facebook page and answer those questions so that we can generate a discussion about what success means, how we define it, how do we get it, and also to learn a little bit more about you and what you do.

I want the people that listen to this podcast — I want them to be able to connect with each other and share their thoughts.

Here are some of the questions that we might be asking:

What was your life like before you started on the current career path that you’re in?
Get a little background information. Tell us about yourself and what you were doing before you started your current career.

What is one of the biggest mistakes you’ve made and what did you learn from it?
This question gives a great opportunity for you to share a mistake you’ve made, something you’ve learned, and provide value for other people that are checking out that post on the Facebook page.

What is the biggest success you’ve had?
Maybe something that you’ve done that you’d like to share.

What are some personal examples or stories of something that occurred in your business that altered the shape or path of your business?

There are many other questions.

Obviously the last question is to define success. What makes someone successful? Do you consider yourself to be successful.

This week: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday Friday. I’m going to be posting those questions as if I’m interviewing you for the Defining Success Podcast. Then everyone who is listening, let’s share our thoughts and ideas on what it is that defines our success and we can get a chance to get to know each other. It’s a really great opportunity.

Take advantage of it this week. It would mean a lot to me. I think it would mean a lot to helping other people, exposing other people to your thoughts on success, passion, commitment and taking action.

Click here Defining Success Podcast on Facebook

Thanks for listening! Now go out there and find your success.

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Episode 84: Stop Job Seeking and Start Networking | Tom Dowd, aka Transformation Tom, author of Displacement Day

Thomas Dowd talks about networking when you are job seekingThomas Dowd is the author of his book, Displacement Day. It’s about trying to recover from losing a job and going out job hunting. One of the things that I thought was very interesting was the way he would go about job seeking and how he recommends others do it as well. It’s the difference between networking and job searching.

Thomas Dowd, or Transformation Tom, is the author of “Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job…A Reference Guide to Finding Work.” With over twenty-three years of experience in the financial industry in management and leadership roles at the same organization, Thomas Dowd received the call nobody wanted: “We’re downsizing.” What could have been a devastating day, immediately turned into a journey toward his next book “Displacement Day.”

Zeb’s Take – Networking while Job Seeking

I really liked the fact that he brought up how to go about finding a job. Recently, I’ve been approached by a couple people who tell me that they’re looking for jobs. When they come up to me and they ask, “Hey, I’m looking for a job. I don’t have a job. Is there anything that I can do?” Desperately I want to try to help them in some capacity, but it’s tough to think of a way to do that. Sometimes I think of people that I might know to put them in touch with.

What Tom brought up in the interview was that instead of being a job seeker, instead of asking people for jobs all the time. Which actually can be kind of a weird feeling, because the person you’re asking, it feels a little uncomfortable because they want to help, but they can feel like they are in control of your destiny… it’s a lot of pressure and makes it a more uncomfortable conversation, I think. Where, if you look at it as you are networking with someone who could potentially give you a job, and not so much like, “hey I need a job, give me a job.” Instead, going in there and asking asking them questions about their business, what is it that they well, how do people get that job, how do they excel in that industry. By asking those questions it’s more of a relationship where you have two people engaging and discussing together. It’s more comfortable for the other people involved. It’s really a great way to think about job seeking and looking for jobs.

In the interview I mentioned that I went around the country, and check out Craigslist and just blast my resume out everywhere. Say, “Hey, I need a job! I need a job! I need a job!” I’m telling everyone, and it didn’t work for me. If I had gone about it differently and I had looked for ways to network with those people I think I would have had better results.

If you are looking for a job, follow Tom’s advice.

Now, go out there and find your success!

Find Out More About Tom Down and His BookThomas Dowd's book Displacement Day

Go to TransformationTom.com

Tom’s book, Displacement Day: When My Job Was Looking for a Job, is available in regular book form and ebook form on Amazon. Just search for the title “Displacement Day.”

 

Quotes

  • “It wasn’t my communication skills, it was actually my confidence level. By gaining this confidence I learned to communicate much more effectively.”
  • “It’s not about getting the project done. It’s about building the right relationships with the right people to get the job done.”
  • “When I stopped trying to impress and start being myself I gained the confidence, I gained the skills, and I found a whole lot more success.”
  • “I had built the network, I felt really good about it, and I built it before I needed it.”
  • “Networking isn’t just checking off a box. It’s about building a true relationship. A mutual relationship.”
  • “Stop job seeking and start networking.”
  • “In these networking sessions, never leave it without asking the question, who else can I meet with? And run with it.”
  • “The important part of the network is that you start the process, but the network does the work for you if you allow it to.”
  • “As soon as I became a better teacher I became a better learner. By becoming a better learner I became a better teacher.”
  • “I believe in who I am, and more importantly, I believe in who I can still be.”

Dowd2      TomDowd

More From the Interview

Tom was a communications major at the University of Delaware. He graduated on a Friday and started work at a Finance company on a Monday. Worked there in several positions for over 23 years. When his company was taken over and went from a 28,000 person organization to a 300,000 person organization, he had to make a mental adjustment: decide if he was going to be swallowed up in the 300,000 person organization or did he want to make a difference. He joined Host Masters, a worldwide organization that helps to improve communication skills and leadership skills, it was that that boosted Tom’s confidence through the roof. It allowed him to do things within his own professional state, and within the organization to make a difference in the organization. He wrote a couple books while he was at that job. One was on his own transformation of becoming self aware and the other on public speaking.

“I was told for 18 years on my performance appraisals that I couldn’t communicate I was told that I have some issues with those skills: listening, yapping, not being clear/concise, not being confident in how I communicated with senior leaders. So I ended up joining Toast Masters, I found during a time, it wasn’t my communication skills, it was actually my confidence level. By gaining this confidence I learned to communicate much more effectively.”

In Toast Masters, he competed in these speech competitions. Twice he got as far as one speech away from the world semi-finals. He met many people who helped him in his journey of communication, confidence and leadership. He gained mentors. One of whom inspired him to write about leadership, success, and how to be a better speaker.

Screen Shot 2014-06-03 at 8.47.03 AM

“I became much more successful when I learned to be myself. Which believe it or not is where my confidence came from. I found myself trying to impress so many people at my job. When I stopped trying to impress and start being myself I gained the confidence, I gained the skills, and I found a whole lot more success.”

To clarify what he means by “Being Yourself.” He was learning to build trust and build relationships. Tom compares his work-self to his home-self. There’s the Tom who is sitting at the dinner table having a conversation with his family, laughing, joking, casual. It’s not about communication or confidence, it’s just being Tom. And then he goes to work, has a tie choking him around the neck, a white collar, get the job done, force the hand of the people around him, give them critical feedback whether they want it or not, who never missed his goals, never missed hitting his numbers.

He got lots of criticism. There were a few people who gained his trust. One of them talked to him and asked him about his relationships with the other people at the company. It helped him realize things he needed to change. He had a reputation as an uptight guy who gets the job done, but people were concerned about his leadership abilities.

Once a month he would pick up the phone and talk to somebody he didn’t know, and who were a couple levels above him in the organization. To push his comfort zone and to reinventing himself. He would tell them about what he’s been doing at the organization and what they’ve been doing. How they could maybe help each other. He became a better listener, a better business partner, became more successful because he stopped trying to impress people and just worried about the job. The people became more important to him.

“I became this push and pull man. I’m gonna push you when you need it and I’m gonna pull you in and figure out what you can do to help yourself.”

“It’s not about getting the project done. It’s about building the right relationships with the right people to get the job done.”

“I was trying to change people. What I really needed to do was change me to be who I wanted to be while still getting the best out of people.”

When he found out his company was downsizing, he said that phone call was almost calming. He has such confidence in the network he built, in the skills he had, in his vulnerability to learn from his mistakes and develop who he wanted to be, he says he saw the whole world ahead of him and said, “Okay.” He wasn’t worried.

“I had built the network, I felt really good about it, and I built it before I needed it.”

“Networking isn’t just checking off a box. It’s about building a true relationship. A mutual relationship.”

“Stop job seeking and start networking.”

Tom stopped asking for a job and started working to build his relationships with people in his network. He had to reinvent himself to them so they would know what he was looking for. Also, he says one of the biggest things he learned was don’t make assumptions. Because he assumed that people in his network, certain people, would support him – drop everything they’re doing to give Tom advice, give him a direction, a path. That wasn’t always the case He realized that they were too close to him. They knew exactly what he wanted and what he didn’t want. It was the secondary network, people who knew people, who had new conversations with Tom about what are you looking for? what do you want? and that led to the first chapter of his book.

By talking to his secondary network Tom realized that maybe he didn’t need to go back into the financial industry. Another assumption. He had the speaking stuff, this coaching, this training world that maybe he could turn into a job.

If you’re networking, instead of job seeking, there is no expectation. It takes the pressure away from the situation so they won’t shy away.

Tom says to have an elevator speech, whether you’re employed or not. Think about what do you want people to know about you. What is your greatest accomplishment. Have a 2 min, 5 min, 10 min version of who you are that you can share.

“In these networking sessions, never leave it, without asking the question, who else can I meet with, and run with it.”

Tom says, that’s when you see the spiderweb of network.

“The important part of the network is that you start the process, but the network does the work for you if you allow it to.”

That’s where you move past sympathy and into action.

He says, I had a little credibility issue as I was trying to coach and train people on how to write resumes and network while I was unemployed. I continued to do that while I was job seeking. I talked to people that had been looking for jobs for over two years. I found a lot of people who would not apply for a job because they met a few of the requirements, but they did not quite meet everything within the job description. He says the hiring manager put down the absolute perfect candidate, probably no one is going meet everything on that job description. He also recommends that have to differentiate yourself, all resume’s look the same. Make your story come alive. Your resume should read like a book. It is the introductory chapter, make people want to read the rest of the book.

“People are just too vanilla in their resumes.”

People always get frozen in these situations.

Always have a plan. Wake up like you have a job. Have a plan of attack for the day. Send emails, make phone calls, schedule and go to meetings. What is your marketing plan? What companies are you going to target?

Until someone offers you a job and you’re unpacking your boxes at that organization you need to continue job searching. When “I got my full time job offer, I was ecstatic, I told my wife, I came back upstairs to the laptop and I continued my job search until I had the official contract signed.” It wasn’t a lack of confidence that he’d get the job, it was how many times did things fall through before becoming official.

“As soon as I became a better teacher, I became a better learner. By becoming a better learner I became a better teacher.”

“I learned that I can be the person I want to be. I learned to be willing to be the student. I became a better listener. I became a better person, a better business partner.”

Anyone out there that considers themselves a failure. I would tell them to go back and revisit themselves. You shouldn’t be striving for perfection, you should be striving for excellence and really strive to make yourself a better person.

“I believe in who I am, and more importantly, I believe in who I can still be.”

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Episode 80: Networking vs Working a Room with the Mingling Maven | Susan RoAne, Author of How To Work a Room

Author Susan RoAne talks about networing and working a roomThis episode I interview the Mingling Maven, Susan RoAne. She is the author of How to Work a Room. In the interview she gives great ideas on having conversations with people, how to start those conversations, and how to feel comfortable in those scenarios. One of the things she highlighted was the difference between working a room and networking. The real key to networking is in the follow-up.

Susan RoAne, or the Mingling Maven, is the best selling author of How to Work a Room. If you’ve ever walked into a roomful of strangers and felt uncomfortable, you’re not alone. According to research, over 90% feel the same way. Because it’s essential, to building our businesses as well as our personal life, we must be able to comfortably attend gatherings and meet, connect and converse with people we don’t know as well as the ones we do.

Working a room and networking in Susan Roane's book How To Work a Room

Zeb’s Take

What a great interview with Susan. She gave a lot of really great tidbits of information about how you can work a room, how you can feel comfortable in networking situations and meeting new people. I really love the advice she gave.

One of the things she pointed out that I’d like to talk about more is the difference between networking and working a room. Working a room is the initial interactions, initial discussions, and how to make sure your presence is known throughout the room. The networking side of it is through the follow-up. Networking isn’t the mingling and interacting at the location, it’s the follow-up afterwards and that is where the value comes in with networking.

I’ve seen it a lot at networking events. Business owners go wanting to grow their business and they expect outcomes the first time they show up. They walk in, they’re interacting with everybody, they are very outgoing, shaking everyone’s hand and exchange business cards. But they don’t get any business that one day and you’ll never see those people return again. I know from experience with our Chamber of Commerce that my continued presence there, the follow up I did with the people I met at the chamber, that ultimately it led to a lot of sales for me and my business down the road, as people began to trust and know me. Now that I’ve gotten better and gotten more experience at networking I have a good system set in place that encourages follow up, that promotes myself and reaching out to people. Then it’s either getting coffee with them or just connecting through email or social media networks.

The networking at the event is not the goal, it’s about the follow-up afterwards. If you are going to networking events to get the most value out of it make sure you follow up with the people you meet at those events. Because there is always an opportunity. Even if they are not going to be a customer for your business they have the potential to refer your business or connect you with people who can benefit your business. You can also help them in different capacities and build a relationship that way.

Go out there and find your success!

Find out more about Susan Roanne, The Mingling Maven

Go to www.SusanRoane.com or HowToWorkARoom.com
Email Susan at Susan@SusanRoane.com with your questions

Her Book, How To Work a Room
She says, “Please go to your local bookstore, if they don’t have it on the shelf they will order it for you. We have to support our local book stores. But of course it’s in online bookstores. The book is How to Work a Room, the Silver Anniversary Edition.”

Susan RoAne, Best-Selling Author and Keynote Speaker

Quotes

  • “I think that’s part of success, being willing to say yes and stretching ourselves.”
  • ” If you are not re-tweeting, letting someone know you appreciated a tweet, responding, engaging, commenting then you are a lurker, not a worker.”
  • “I found that the people who created their own luck[…], they said yes when they wanted to say no.”
  • “Real networking happens over time, it’s a process. It’s not something that happens once at an event.”
  • “The people who I find with the most success are people that have diverse relationships with people of different ages, different backgrounds, different interests; as well as those who are in their field.”
  • “Some of the best networkers are people who used to be shy, but they realized there was a benefit to meeting interesting people.”
  • “The banquet of banter is a potluck: what are you bringing to the banquet?”
  • “Bring who you are to what you do.”
  • “At a certain point the stuff that we have isn’t as important as the stuff we’re made of.”

susan      susan2

More from the Interview

Susan was a former public school teacher in Chicago and San Francisco. In San Francisco they had massive layoffs, Susan was one of them. She was then able to help former teachers find new career paths. That evolved into Susan writing books including How to Work a Room. She designed a career change workshop for teachers. Made sure it got on radio. When the editor of the San Francisco Examiner contacted her to do a local career series she said, “Yes.” She immediately got a headache because she wasn’t sure what she had gotten herself into.

“I think that’s part of success, being willing to say yes and stretching ourselves.”

Susan’s Book – How To Work A Room

The main premise of her book is to make it easy for any person that has to walk into a room, a meeting, a party, a reunion, a wedding, a conference, a retreat. So that no one stands at the door and feels uncomfortable walking into a room full of people they may not know. Susan’s mission is to take away that discomfort and help people prepare so they can make the most of whatever event they are going to.

In a Room

If Susan is at an event and sees someone standing alone, she’s the one that will seek them out and try to start a conversation with them. Because, she says, one of the top traits of people we really remember are the people who noticed us, came over to us, made us feel included. For the people already in the room, being cognizant of the people who are alone and welcoming them is not only a wonderful trait, it’s a brilliant business strategy.

For the first version of her book, Susan did most of her research at her local chamber. She saw things that people did that were wonderful. She also saw things that made her question how some people were raised.

Being able to work a room is a skill. To be a networker is a different skill. There are people that are wonderful in a room; we’ve all seen them, they are very conversant, they are interesting, fun to be around, but they have no interest in following up and no skill at following up. In her book Susan refers to these people as One-Night-Stands.

There are people out there with phenomenal networking skills. Networking is really the key to success. They have immense follow-up. They do what they say they’re going to do when they say they’re going to do it. They stay in touch. Those same people may feel very uncomfortable when they walk into a room full of strangers.

Those two skills together, working a room and networking, really are dramatic and they contribute to our personal and professional success.

New Rooms

Whether it’s Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Google+, there are new rooms that we need to appropriately work, appropriately be social in, and behave appropriately in. Each one has a different etiquette. If you are not re-tweeting, letting someone know you appreciated a tweet, responding, engaging, commenting then “you are a lurker, not a worker.”

Twitter is the most fascinating time-suck Susan has ever experienced that does not involve the TV.

In video chats for Skype and Google Hangouts, make sure you look great. Make sure you have the right lighting and that it’s not too dark. It’s different on the camera than it is to your eyes. Look at your office and make sure it looks they way you want it to be seen. When you are doing something face to face remember that you are really in that room with them, so you have to remember the same manners you would have in a real room. It’s still about paying attention and listening. Don’t look at your smartphone while you’re in a Google Hangout.

Teaching

Susan still loves speaking at a to universities and colleges. Sharing these techniques to empower a whole new group of people so they can go to places and meet people and get the first job, or the second or third. Even at high schools; giving kids the tools so they can connect with each other and people they need to know. “I think it’s wonderful.”

“I found that the people who created their own luck[…], they said yes when they wanted to say no.”

Advice

For people that feel uncomfortable going to an event, know that if you come prepared you will feel more comfortable. There are some things you can prepare ahead of time. There’s no reason now, with the internet, that you can’t do some research on the event ahead of time so you’re not walking in cold. Prepare your own self introduction, it should be specific to the event. Susan says her introduction at her chamber of commerce meetings is very different than at a friend’s wedding. Tailor your introduction to give people context for how to talk to you. It’s not the 30 second upchucking of an elevator speech; it’s 7-9 seconds, it’s a pleasantry. Give the benefit of what you do set in an interesting fun way that engages people so they get to ask what it means. Then you are invited to speak more. Only go on a little bit. Stop, look at the other person and say, “How about you?” not, “What do you do?” how about you, it allows them to talk about their passion which could be something different than their job.

How are networking and working the room different?

Working a room, you’re really just socializing. You’re mixing, meeting, greeting, you’re having a lot of little conversations and you’re circulating. It’s a social party. Nobody invites you to hog the time of one other guest.

Networking is very specific in that it’s the follow-up. You can’t network a room. Networking is a mutually beneficial process whereby we change ideas, information, ideas, advice, laughter. The real networking happens over time, it’s a process, it’s not something that happens once at an event. When you are developing a network you are developing a group of people where there is a stronger connection and it is the beginning of building relationships.

“The people who I find with the most success are people that have diverse relationships with people of different ages, different backgrounds, different interests; as well as those who are in your field.”

Icebreakers

Just look at the room/the event you’re going to. That’s what’s happening to everyone, it’s something in common. Susan talks about the food, she talks about how long it took to find a parking space. Look for name tags. If you are at a fundraiser, ask how someone came to support the cause. Say something that’s relevant to the event at hand, because that makes sense. It’s easy, it starts the conversation with small talk and then you can move from there.

Complement a tie, a nice scarf, an interesting necklace. It’s okay to compliment someone as long as it’s sincere. Notice things: pins, ties, jewelry; then you are in an easier conversation.

If you want to have something interesting to talk about make sure you know what’s going on in the world. Get it from a newspaper, online, TV, anywhere. Know what’s going on and you can always talk to other people.

For the Shy

In 1980 about 80% of people considered themselves shy, by 2000 it jumped to 93%. If you think you are shy, know that at least 90% of people in that room also feel shy sometimes. Some of the best networkers are people who used to be shy, but they realized there was a benefit to meeting interesting people. So they approach it as, “Oh my goodness, isn’t this great! I’m going to meet interesting people therefore I’m going to learn new things.” and it’s that attitude that gets them over the shyness.

“Some of the best networkers are people who used to be shy. but they realized there was a benefit to meeting interesting people.”

Susan suggests that if you walk into an event with someone that you don’t stay with them for the whole evening. Decide to split up and talk to other people then come back and introduce people to each other. Even for couples. Don’t stand face-to-face talking to each other; stand side-by-side facing room.

Susan’s Top Tips for a Great Conversation

Number one: Listen. Listen. Listen.

Two: “The banquet of banter is a potluck: what are you bringing to the banquet?” Be sure to bring your favorite stores. Listen to other people’s stories. Susan does this thing where she barrows other people’s stories, you can relate to people with kids even if you don’t have any. If you listen and pay attention to their stories that’s another story you can share to someone that has similar interests.

For conversation it’s listen, participate, don’t be afraid to ask questions, and don’t ask only questions. Share something of yourself.

“Bring who you are to what you do.”

On Success

“Can you look in your own mirror and feel comfortable with the person you are, how you treat people, how you’ve walked around this planet; and what your contribution has been?”

“It’s how you treat people.”

“I have a wonderful network of people around the world that I’ve stayed in touch with that has made me have the most wonderful life.”

“I want to know that when you’ve listened to me that you’ve got something that you can do to make your life just a little bit easier, better, and that to me is success.”

“At a certain point the stuff that we have isn’t as important as the stuff we’re made of.”

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Episode 65: Creating an Online Community with Zeb Welborn

Creating an online community is no easy task.  The key ingredient toward building an online community of people who take action is consistency, persistence and greatness.

Online Community, Online Golfing Community, Bunkers Paradise

Bunkers Paradise

I came into contact with Bunker’s Paradise while working for Los Serranos Country Club in Chino Hills, CA.  Bunker’s Paradise is an online golfing community where they talk about anything and everything golf.  Mostly they focus on reviewing golf clubs and golf equipment, but they’ve created a great golfing community here in Southern California.  The key to creating a vibrant golfing community online is creating good, quality content according to Ken Lee, the Editor-in-Chief at Bunker’s Paradise.  Ken is a full-time police officer, yet in his free time he’s been able to build this online community of golfers.  If you’re a small business, work to build a community like Ken Lee’s Bunker’s Paradise.

Greenskeeper.org Online Community Online Golfing Community

Greenskeeper.org

Greenskeeper.org is another great golfing community in Southern California.  Greenskeeper.org started as a website to notify golfers when golf courses were performing aeration.  The community has expanded substantially since it began more than 10 years ago and is working to make the golfing experience more enjoyable for golfers.  The owner, John Hakim said that whenever he invested in his community he’s seen rewards come from it and he works hard to be of service to his GK’ers.  By creating a vibrant golfing community which now regularly rates and reviews golf courses he’s been able to create a community of 60,000 golfers here in Southern California.  He routinely holds golf outings and gets his golfers involved.  In fact, we’ll be having a golf outing this week on March 14 at Los Serranos Country Club in Chino Hills, CA.  All are welcome!  Contact Zeb Welborn at Zeb@WelbornSocialMedia.com

Scrapbook Expo Online Community

Scrapbook Expo

Scrapbook Expo is another great company that has been able to build an online community which have helped them increase sales for their business.  They started by developing an extremely active Facebook presence, now with more than 120,000 Facebook followers.  These followers are very active online and contribute regularly to the Scrapbook Expo Facebook page and in turn, build massive word of mouth exposure for the events Scrapbook Expo holds all over the country.  Look to Scrapbook Expo if you’d like to build a strong online community. Creating an online community is no easy task.  Many who set out to achieve that goal quickly realize the amount of work it takes to establish and develop an online presence and quit.  To develop a strong online community it takes consistency and persistence.  Develop a loyal customer base and have those loyal customers promote and build your brand online and you’ll be well on your way to developing a strong social media presence.

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Episode 49: Just Show Up! | Photographer Chris Carlson from the Associated Press

Chris Carlson has done photography in more than 40 different countries covering some of the world’s greatest sporting and political events.  He’s been involved in the business a long time but attributes his consistency and reliability to be one of the keys to his success.  Learn how to just show up in Episode 49 of the Defining Success Podcast.

Associated Press Photographer on the Defining Success Podcast with Zeb Welborn

Chris Carlson

Chris Carlson has been a staff photographer at the AP in Southern California for the past 6 years, Prior to that, he has been on the staff of the Orange County Register where he shared a Pulitzer Prize for coverage. During his career, he has been on assignment in over 40 countries.

Chris’s family was in the newspaper business.  Early on he realized his spelling was so bad that the only way he could stay in the newspaper business was by becoming a photographer.  Like any field you get into, you have to hone your craft. Chris was very lucky to work with people who were very skilled.  Many people took Chris under his wing and helped develop him into a world class photographer.

When Chris started in photography, there was a huge delay between the time he took a picture and the time he had it developed.  In some cases it was several hours.  Now, photographers know very quickly whether or not they have shot something great or not and they have the ability to take more if they are not happy with what they’ve shot.  Twenty years ago photographers were not as lucky because if they took bad shots, they would not be able to recognize this until hours later and in some cases this meant the opportunity was gone for good.

In photojournalism, they have deadlines and now the deadlines have sped up excessively.

One thing that Chris thinks many people in photography may not realize is the way that professional photographers are able to effectively use lighting to create a better picture.  The average person would be able to look at a picture and say it’s beautiful, but the professional photographer would be able to understand why the picture looks beautiful.

Some people get into journalism because they want to get into the world. Chris got into journalism because he wanted to see the world.  Being a photographer has given Chris the opportunity to see how the world has unfolded before him.

One of the best assignments Chris ever had was the 2007 U.S. Open where Tiger Woods won in a 19 hole playoff and watching him make a put on the 18th hole to force a playoff was probably the most exciting thing he had ever seen.  Watching the crowd react and watching Tiger’s reaction and seeing how competitive that day was was amazing.  And he felt very fortunate that photography was the vehicle that gave him the opportunity to witness the experience in person.

A lot of pressure comes from being a photographer.  Chris works hard to capture special moments, but sometimes many factors can contribute to the missing of a moment which can be lost and gone forever if he doesn’t capture it as it’s happening.  The stress of capturing these events can be a burden.  Over time the stress of having to capture that one moment can weigh on you a bit.

Chris attributes his success to luck, good decisions, hard work and sometimes, no matter how hard you try, something happens that you couldn’t plan for and in his case he feels very lucky.  Somebody once told Chris that a key to success is just showing up.  If you show up and do work you’re already ahead of your competition.  He looks at his colleagues that are very successful, he sees that it’s because they have a very strong work ethic.

One of the biggest mistake Chris has made was that he didn’t know if he enjoyed it enough in his time.  He wonders if when he retires if he’s going to say that he enjoyed it enough while he was doing it.

Working at the Associated Press, Chris feels fortunate that they cover big stories and the one event Chris wants to go to that he hasn’t yet is the Masters Golf Tournament.  Every year Chris covers the Kraft-Nabisco women’s golf tournament events which conflicts with the Masters, but he hopes he can make it to the Masters.

Chris has done countless brush fires, earthquakes, civil unrest. He was on the presidential campaign with President Obama and he’s done the Iowa Caucus and recommends that if anyone has an interest in politics that they should visit Iowa during that time because they are all very knowledgeable about politics.

If you’re interested in becoming a photographer you need to decide what kind of photography you’d like to do and then position yourself to be able to do that.  Sometimes it means starting at the high school level and hone your skills to build up to the big time.  Photography is incredibly competitive and in order to be successful you must love photography and if you have a good work-ethic, you’ll have a chance to be a good photographer.

When they started introducing digital cameras, your competition grew and the ability to make a living in photography is a lot tougher than it used to be.

Associated Press Photographer Chris Carlson Brandon Marshall from the Chicago Bears and Denver Broncos on the Defining Success Podcast with Zeb Welborn

AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh

Engaging Discussion Questions:

  • What does it take to make a great picture?
  • How important do you think being reliable is to business?
  • Would people say you just show up?

Links to Great Stuff:

AP Images – “AP Images gives you access to the world’s largest collections of historical and contemporary photographs, so you have all the imagery you need, right when you need it. AP’s timely, powerful and informative images cover topics ranging from breaking news and sports to business, entertainment, weather, fashion, travel, royalty-free, rights-managed, microstock and more. You can purchase the images you need immediately on our site or set up a subscription service with your sales representative. And with our new API delivery method, you get images in a more flexible, fast and reliable way, within your own interface. AP’s Assignment & Publicity Services is also ready to assist you with start-to-finish planning, execution and distribution for all your promotional needs.”

The International Center of Photography – “The International Center of Photography (ICP) is the world’s leading institution dedicated to the practice and understanding of photography and the reproduced image in all its forms. Through our exhibitions, educational programs, and community outreach, we offer an open forum for dialogue about the role images play in our culture. Since our founding, we have presented more than 500 exhibitions and offered thousands of classes, providing instruction at every level. ICP is a center where photographers and artists, students and scholars can create and interpret the world of the image within our comprehensive educational facilities and archive.”

MSNBC – Pictures of the Week – “NBC News Digital is a collection of innovative and powerful news brands that deliver compelling, diverse and visually engaging stories on your platform of choice. NBC News Digital features world-class brands including NBCNews.com, tv.msnbc.com, TODAY.com, theGrio.com, NBCLatino.com, NBCPolitics.com, Nightly News, Meet the Press, Rock Center, Dateline, Newsvine, Breaking News, and the existing apps and digital extensions of these respective properties. We provide something for every news consumer with our comprehensive offerings that deliver the best in breaking news, segments from your favorite NBC News shows, live video coverage, original journalism, lifestyle features, commentary and local updates.  NBC News Digital reaches an audience of more than 58 million unique visitors who generate more than 1.2 billion page views and 140 million online video streams each month.”

New York Times – Lens Blog – “Photography, Visual and Video Journalism.”

Success Quotes:

  • “Success is balancing my career, my family life, my social life and my future.”
  • “I got into journalism because I wanted to see the world.”
  • “The one thing that separates amateur photographers from professional photographers is the way they handle light.”
  • “Photography is about capturing the moment.”

Special Requests:

Engage with us on Facebook, Twitter and leave reviews on the Defining Success Podcast in iTunes.

Chris Carlson at the Breeder's Cup Just Show Up

by Robert Hanashiro

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Zeb Welborn to Speak at Shark Boot Camp

Honored to have been chosen to be a speaker at the Shark Boot Camp Event being held this Saturday, November 9 in Newport Beach.  Because I have interviewed several of the entrepreneurs who have appeared on the Shark Tank I’ll be on a panel where we’ll discuss how entrepreneurs can utilize bloggers, podcasters and bloggers to help promote their business.

Because I’ll be presenting, I have the opportunity to offer discounted pricing for this Shark Boot Camp Event.  If you’re interested in attending for half-price please visit Zeb Welborn’s Shark Boot Camp Half-Priced Tickets.

Zeb Welborn to Speak at Shark Boot Camp

Shark Boot Camp

The hit TV show has created overnight success and new ventures along with provided REAL LIFE learning for business owners.

Shark Tank, one of the most popular and successful reality television shows over the past four years, has been a launch pad for almost 250 new or expanding businesses. Season five recently started with some new combinations of Sharks on the panel joining the feeding frenzy.

On Saturday, November 9, from 9:00am till 5:00pm the largest gathering of alumni will share their experiences of being on the show and becoming an “overnight success.” This will be the second reunion held in Orange County and a sell out crowd is expected.

The TV panel of Sharks, all with a net worth in excess of $100 million, team with small to medium sized businesses that are seeking capital or strategic partnerships. This local all-day Boot Camp will provide panel discussion with alumni from the show along with individual presentations on what “worked”, what didn’t work, ideas of how to get on the show and getting picked (a Special Report of those tips is available at www.sharkbootcamp.com), plus presentations on guerilla marketing, social media and working with blogs. A real-world pitch session will be presented to real-world investors and the audience will be able to critique and learn from the contestants.

Local celebrity contestants including Shelly Ehler with ShowNo towels (www.showno.com), who will speak about the lessons learned both in businesses as well as life. Shelly’s “pitch” has been aired five times, and has been one of their most popular segments.

The all day admission fee is $97 and VIP packages are available for $147 which include personal one on one conversations and coaching from the alumni as well as a MasterMind lunch session. A portion of all registration fees will be shared with the Special Olympics in Orange County. The location will be at the Balboa Bay Club on Pacific Coast Highway in Newport Beach.

For more information about me and the speaking engagement, please visit the Speakers Page for the Shark Boot Camp Event and for half-priced tickets, please visit Zeb Welborn’s Shark Boot Camp Half-Priced Tickets.

Zeb Welborn Shark Boot Camp

Zeb Welborn

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2013 Chino Business of the Year! – Welborn Social Media

On Friday, June 28 the Chino Valley Chamber of Commerce held its annual Installation & Awards Dinner at the Planes of Fame Museum in Chino, CA where they named Welborn Social Media the 2013 Chino Business of the Year.

Debbie Mitsch, the newly sworn in Chairman of the Board began the announcement, “The 2013 Chino Business of the Year was founded in 2011 and is very big in the social media world.” She went on to award Welborn Social Media as the Chino Business of the Year.

Lacey and I were completely surprised at being named the 2013 Chino Business of the Year and feel very fortunate that we were nominated and chosen by people and businesses that we respect and admire.

The Defining Success Podcast has really given us the opportunity to help our community and reach out to individuals and businesses who are doing great things.  Although we have won this award we still want to work hard to make a difference and impact the lives of others.  We do this by helping business owners share the passion they have for their business with as many people as possible using the tools of the Internet.

Upon receiving such an honor, more than anything, I feel thankful for everyone who has been involved with us along the way. We have worked hard in our business to provide the best service for our customers, but know deep down that it wouldn’t have been possible without the help of so many. Find out all about the experience here. 

Don’t hesitate to contact me if you have any questions about the Defining Success Podcast or Welborn Social Media – Share Your Passion.  Grow Your Business.

Welborn Social Media Named 2013 Chino Business of the Year

2013 Chino Business of the Year – Welborn Social Media

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